contemplation of the beat




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dedicated to my late cat 'mama'
Monday, December 29, 2008 @ 12:17 AM

2008 is not the year for me nor my family.
family ties with my dad's side broken..
my grandmother passed away..
my chincilla,'ying ying' passed away..
my break up..
n today..
it was my cat..
why?
why is all this happening?
god is testing how much we can take in life..
or maybe he is punishing us..
for our sins in out previous life..
n yes..
he choose 2008 to throw everything at us...
i presume its everything..
cus i cant take it much any longer..
n thinking to myself..
2008 is coming to an end..
i pray for a good new year in 2009..
n just b4 new year..
my cat passed.
maybe its e full stop god is leaving for us on 2008.


'mama'
the only cat of my 13 that does not stay in my house.
the 1st cat that we had a relationship with..
the cat that brought 3 more into my home n life..
n 5 more from her children.
the cat that lived alone in e cold void deck of block 652.
she was strong.
always over protective.
even spending so much time with her..
she'll still scratch or bite me or my mom.
but still loved by us alot..
why?
why do we love a cat that roams around e void deck everyday.
dosen't like to be pat or touched by us..
or even attacks us?
why?
cus shes e only cat..
shes e only cat that can tell when u open ur door on e 4th floor
n wait to greet u at e lift..
shes e only cat that knows that my mom's car is parking
n waits by e door to greet us..
shes e only cat that knows her name n responses to it.
e only cat we had a real connection.
thats y..
thats e cat we love..

e last i saw her..
was yesterday.
when i came home from drums..
saw her sleeping by my mom's car..
called her..but she was lazy to respond..
so i went up e lift..
shes so lonely..
always alone.
n she died alone.
e most cruel way to go..
alone..
she died with foam in her mouth..
n her arms stretched out trying to crawl..
as if wanting to get help..
a last stuggle for life..
and no..
she didn't have 9 of em.
i wished she did.
n now shes gone..
coming home...walking to e lift will be different forever..
e cat we loved n once knew..
won't be there to greet us anymore..
n no cat can ever replace her..
not one of my remaining 12..
i pray she didn't suffer at her last moments..
i pray she is alright wherever she is..
n i pray her next life will be e best.



no one deservers to die alone..
no one should be alone..