just a failure.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 @ 11:48 PM
why?
wtf is it like this..
1000 of stuff running in my mind nw..
i dun get it..
did i rush to fast?
did i fuck something up?
did i give e wrong 1st impression?
is it that u're e classmate of my ex?
is it that i ain't ur type?
is it that i seem like a player?
is it that i'm corny?
cus i'm ugly?
cus i'm different?
cus of past experiance?
cus of bad memories?
cus u don't know me enough?
cus u know me only for a short period of time?
cus u have a boyfriend?
cus u have someone else in mind?
cus u already have a date?
cus u dun wanna have a date?
cus u rather be with ur friends den with me?
cus i aint significant?
cus u felt e chemistry i created was an act?
cus u felt tat i wasnt serious?
cus its fear?
cus u're shy?
cus u dun like guys?
cus u dun like anything bout me?
what is it? tell me?
ya..
i always sound cool n calm.
i always seem to be thinking..
i always seem to have alot of stuff in my mind.
seem this seem that..
wad u dun see is a fucked up guy inside of me
crying for attention.
i shiver when i'm near u..
i go blank when i see u..
i almost got a heart attack when i asked u out.
i felt e skin of my chest pounding..
real hard.
real fast.
i felt my hands go numb..my joints. my legs.
and for the record.
its e 1st time i'm asking someone out face to face.
none before.
i took advices from so many friends.
i took their words of encouragement.
i took their support
i took it..
and embraced it.
i didn't regret any of it.
i just feel so screwed now..
my leap of faith landed with my dead body heart pierced thru a pinnicle
of a frozen glacia.
i don't know wad to do now.
u were the 1 who was pushing me to move forward in life.
and now.
i'm back in a stand still.
i told myself.
my drum score i was composing.
i had u in my heart each time i played the drum.
each time i recorded something.
each time i hummed sth..
i told myself.
i wanted u to be there when its done.
its 1st show.
now i'm fucking stuck.
stuck on everything.
sure ppl might say to move on.
find someone else.
focus on wads more impt.
well u can drag my fucking my dead body for all i care.
travis is dead dude..
hes fucking dead.
i don't know anything anymore
this post might be deleted soon
i just need to get this off my of wads left of my fucked up heart
screw this.